Ya’ll, I just got back from playing soccer. Did you read that? Soccer! Sure I’ve watched the game before, thanks to my awesome niece Katie, but I had never walked on a field as a player. In retrospect, I guess you can still kinda say that. LOL I didn’t play much, mainly just hung out in the middle.
The big thing here is that I actually did something outside my comfort zone… and I mean EXTREMELY outside my comfort zone. I’m not one that really likes to admit my insecurities. I’m trying to get better at being more transparent/real with people… but it’s hard sometimes. Here’s the thing. My weight really bothers me. And for many different reasons – like I’m mad I ever got to this point. I’m mad that I fail a lot at trying to lose weight – I don’t like failing. I hate that food is my comfort and these bad habits are so hard to break. I hate how twisted my mind is when it comes to my weight and how others see me. I don’t like feeling insecure and I really don’t like admitting that I’m feeling insecure.
So when it was suggested that I play with some work friends tonight, I laughed and tried to joke it off. But instead of ignoring it and letting it slide, two of those people were encouraging. So I thought about it. And when I say thought about it, I mean I started texting my sister and having a heart to heart with her. I laid it all on the line. I admitted my insecurities and my twisted thoughts and my sister – in her wise words “I’m going to tell you what you’d tell me”… and she did. Those words and the encouragement of coworkers, that’s how I did that today. I wanted to cop out so bad… but I didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t.
My food choices weren’t great (yeah, I made banana nut bread last night), but I’m so very proud of me today.